Every time you watch a Bond movie, you might find yourself wondering, “Have I seen that scene before?” The answer is yes. You have seen that before. It happened in another Bond movie. It didn’t happen the exact same way but it happened. Most franchises have cliches but Bond leads the pack. Its almost like every new screenwriter is usually given a list of mandatory things to include.
The cliches aren’t necessarily awful. We just want something different. Is that too much to ask? Of course not. After twenty-five movies, the franchise can afford to evolve. With No Time To Die hitting theatres next year, we hope not to see the following cliches again. May Craig’s final outing as Bond be a very unique one. But keep the Martinis, please.
The Villains Are Always Expecting Bond
“Gotcha! You didn’t see me coming.” No! Bond never has the chance to say that to any villain. They are always anticipating his arrival like it’s a dinner date. Sadly, none of them ever makes tea. Such selfish guys. It makes you wonder; if they hate him so much, why don’t they try to kill him before he arrives? Well, some try. For example, Blofeld sent his henchman to take out Bond inside a train in Spectre. But that is an isolated case. Most of them just let him come.
As a result, the phrase “I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond’’ is so consistent with many 007 movies. Normal people don’t always expect visitors. We are usually caught by surprise when our hair is unkempt and we aren’t even dressed up properly. But Bond villains are always expecting him despite the fact that he’s a spy and in the real world, spies are not easily known. And since they know him, they know he is dangerous. So why let him come? The element of surprise should really be present in No Time To Die.
Bond Is Able To Operate Anything With An Engine
A tanker? A bulldozer? A truck? A plane? A jetpack? A car? A motorboat? James Bond has handled all these with ease. There’s nothing with an engine that Bond doesn’t know how to operate. At this rate, he’ll soon be piloting the Guardians of The Galaxy in space.
For a change, it would be great if Bond finds a machine he can’t handle and exclaims, “How the hell does this thing even work?“Even car enthusiasts like Jeremy Clarkson struggle with some machines. So how does Bond know how to operate everything when he never even has the time to learn? That’s as big a mystery as the plane crash in Lost.
Disgruntled MI6 Ex-employees
A couple of Bond movies like Skyfall and GoldenEye have featured former MI6 employees as villains. This really has to stop. Is MI6 such a bad place to work that everyone who leaves ends up wanting to destroy the world or kill their former bosses? Going rogue is fun but it has been done so many times.
Let’s hope that No Time To Die’s villain Safin (Rami Malek) isn’t a former chef at MI6’s kitchen who was fired after overcooking Bond’s steak. As a result, he wants to destroy the whole world. Hey man. We are innocent in all of this. Just deal with Mr. Bond alone, please. He’s the one who didn’t enjoy your steak.
Villain Taking Too Long To Try To Kill Bond
In most of the 007 films, Bond usually gets captured by the villains but instead of killing him immediately, they always prefer to give him a long lecture. Dear Bond villains. You are here to kill, not to be Microeconomic professors. Don’t you know the guy you are dealing with here?
As expected, Bond usually escapes. This reminds us of the classic quote by Tuco in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - “If you want to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk.” This film should be recommended to all Bond villains. Maybe then, they’ll avoid taking so long.
Pointless Flirting With Moneypenny
The macho MI6 agent likes to flirt with Moneypenny but it never leads anywhere. Instead, Bond normally hooks up with other women. Would we be wrong for assuming that he just uses her for seduction practice? The flirting is also not essential to the story, so the best thing to do would be to cut it off.
Moneypenny is normally very receptive to Bond’s pick up lines. We get the feeling that she wouldn’t mind engaging in some form of workplace romance with him. However, Bond never seems interested. So, why is he flirting in the first place? Stay away from him, Moneypenny. He’s going to break your heart.
Villain With a Deformity
Most Bond villains—from Le Chiffre to Raoul to Blofeld—have some form of physical deformity that was caused by an accident. But is this really necessary? Why can’t we just get a good-looking, Chris Hemsworth type of villain to give Bond some real competition?
A good-looking villain that even manages to seduce 007’s love interests would be fantastic. It would even be more awesome if he goes ahead to mock 007. “I can’t help it, Mr. Bond. I am just better looking than you. Try putting in more hours in the gym. will you?” Sadly, this looks like it isn’t going to happen. No Time To Die’s villain apparently likes wearing a mask. We can only assume that he has some form of deformity too.
Mandatory Train Scene
Bond producers are obsessed with trains. This is strange because the majority of Fleming’s novels don’t feature trains at all. From Spectre to Casino Royale to From Russia With Love, there’s always that scene where Bond is on a train. Sometimes he’s fighting, sometimes he’s just an ordinary passenger.
He doesn’t even have to be inside the train. In Skyfall for example, Bond fights with a villain on top of a train. Seriously, enough with the trains. Don’t turn No Time To Die into Murder On Orient Express, Why not use commercial planes for a change? Bond is rarely seen flying in a commercial plane. It’s high time he fought someone in first class.
Bond Having Such An Easy Time With Women
Bond normally doesn’t have to do much in order to get a woman to like him and sleep with him. In the real world, things don’t work that way. Even if you are Drake or Cassanova’s descendant, there are women who just won’t want anything to do with you.
We understand that James is irresistible and that he doesn’t operate in the real world, but what if he met a Bond girl who didn’t want to be romantically involved with him? It would be fun watching Bond trying so hard yet still failing to get the current woman of his dreams. It would make him more human and relatable
Rooftop Chase (Or Catwalk)
In the case of Spectre, it was more of a catwalk. Bond decided to show us how good he looks in a suit by cat-walking for a few meters on a roof in order to shoot bad guys in the next building. However, in every other Bond film, there has always been a rooftop chase.
Perhaps Bond’s idol is Batman. He just can’t help but jump o rooftops from time to time. Sadly, the rooftop scenes aren’t always spectacular. Tom Cruise showed us how to do a great rooftop scene in Mission Impossible: Fallout. Bond producers should take notes or do away with this completely.
Aimless Globetrotting
There are times when Bond movies turn into travel documentaries. Posh countries, nice hotels, and sweet accents. Sometimes Bond’s presence in a foreign country is justified but sometimes you just suspect that traveling is his hobby. He should start a travel vlog.
Did he really have to go to Italy or Spain just to talk to someone? He could have made a phone call. Did he have to go to Mexico to shoot a single person? There must be MI6 agents in Mexico, right? Powerful foreign countries like the US and the UK have agents all over the world, so why not use them? It would be nice to see all the action taking place in a maximum of three countries. It would be great for the budget too.
